Remember that your H has only been gone a yr or so, and with a MLC it could take many more yrs until your H wakes up - if ever.
You know this, so you have to ask yourself if your in for the long haul or not. You have seen him yo-yo back and forth many times, that tells me that he is still confused.
It is the hardest & most painful experience I am sure most of us here on the boards have to go through. If you have patience and keep reading informational books on MLC for your understanding it will help you to get through the rough spots.
I know you have dealt with this affair long enough, just go dim on him again and really stay very distant and hold onto hope. If it is simply unbearable for you anymore and you cant find the loving feelings for your H anymore, then you may have to admit to yourself that your done.
I do believe that you have more fight in ya. Dont give up, just do something different again. What, I dont know, that is up to you. Maybe set some more boundaries, especially in regards to him possibly lying about his weekend. If you cant trust him, he doesnt deserve to have you right there for him - so stay distant as usual.
I think that sometimes these MLCer stories I've read here often find their S coming back when something signifigant shows them you are moving on and really dont show the same loving emotions.
Remember, most affairs dissolve since they are built on lies and betrayals.
Keep doing what you have been doing, I think you have a good head on your shoulders and you will get through this with what you want. You have had such determination and strength in the posts I have read from your experience. TIPPER
