I agree with you 100%. The article in the Atlantic Monthly magazine I talked about a few posts ago echoed this very point. Many women think "Mr. Perfect" is out there, but he's not. The author made the very good point that women who don't want anyone less than "Mr. Perfect" should realize that any man they are with is also going to be taking "Less than Ms. Perfect." We're all flawed.
One of the most powerful points I read on these boards, posted a few years ago, was "the grass is greener where you water it." That strikes me as a good metaphor for life, not just relationships. We get back what we are willing to put in. I will be the first to admit that I didn't put nearly enough into my M. I don't think my W is with OM, but who knows? We don't talk. Your W thinks OM looks more appealing now, but I agree with your point that she will probably one day learn a hard lesson. Maybe not, but I'd bet she will. She will come to see what she could have had with you, and regret walking away. That's her choice, however, and she will crash hard when she realizes it. That day may not happen, if it does, for a long time, which is why you must go on living your life the way you want to live.
It's hard to say if they won't be back, but do you ever wonder if pride gets in the way of trying to return? I have no clue what's going on with my W now. She gives me no sign of wanting to even attempt a reconciliation, but has not filed for D yet either. I have not said anything to her either, however, and have not filed myself. We're in a strange limbo. We email periodically about our dogs, and then it's a line or two at most. She's long looked for the escape from what hurts her in life, and so her behavior in running rather than trying to work together fits a pattern and has led me to question whether she is/ever was the right person for me. At the same time, there is a small part of me that can't yet pull the trigger on a D. I am trying to figure out why that is so. Some of it may be lingering abandonment issues, some of it may be a slim, likely naive, hope for some shot at reconciliation. The more I have read about love and relationships, the more faults I see in myself and her. So I am not "desperate" to get back with her. I guess it's maybe as simple as the fact that when someone is a part of your life for so long, and you love that person, you just don't easily walk away. I'm more detached than ever, and in a good place overall, but I'm not running to the L office either.
You are a wise, mature person, bigger than she is. Your wife is losing something that could be special, but she can't/won't see that now. Try not to let her cockiness get to you; hard I know, but underneath it is probably somebody who's really in a lot of pain. If she's acting excessively cocky, she's probably overcompensating for the pain inside.
