I found your conversation w/ W to be interesting. I think your honesty in saying "I said I am ok for now and can patiently wait longer if there is a chance" is good.
It will be up to her as well, but you can also suggest some things. You may want to spend the money (I know that is a difficult subject for most of us right now) and call a DB coach. To me, it sounds like you have some very big avenues to do some real DBing, but I'm not sure what to advise.
I do think that she doesn't want the D. Maybe it is up to you to suggest you both go to counseling and see how it goes from there. Also, is there a shot at you living apart for 6 months, "dating", and working on your M? If she balks at this, it would send a loud signal. If she goes back to "bar hopping" it will soon fade if you are her focus and you don't react. However, if it doesn't, you'd have your answer there as well.
My hesitation here is I don't want to steer you into something that will be viewed as pressure on W, so just take this as my $0.02 for now and see what others have to say. You may like hearing from a DB coach. I liked talking w/ mine. RTL
