Thanks for checking up on me. My parents are visiting so less time on the board. Most days it's just log on, check on my friends, and log out.
I have had good PMA lately. Instead of blindly guessing on the level of contact H has with OW, I try to not think about it and just enjoy the time with H. Not easy sometimes. When H says something totally innocent but triggers OW memory, I try to brush it aside and just take whatever he says as what it is and put a positive spin on it. For example, when he says he cannot sleep, the old me would think that's because of OW (which was before). Now if he says it's because of work, I ignore my guessing and treat it as stress from work and try to ease his stress. I am trying not to analyse too much.
One thing that's happening is that our honeymoon period seems to be over and we are going back to the daily routine without much romance or love "sparks". And I think I am the one who does not feel so much romance, rather than H. So that's something I am working on, to put my heart into it more to "feel" the love, feel the kisses, etc.
My parents are leaving soon so I need to find a baby sitter so we can continue to go on dates every so often. Since we do not have friends to do things with yet, it has been hard on me. (H interacts with people at work so not as bad). Fortunately I am an introvert so I am not going crazy being alone. But I will need to find some friends/couples to hang out soon.
So overall, we are doing fine. H is still not opening up but I guess I will wait for that. May take some time.
M 38, H 38, two sons Met 20 years ago Married 13 years Bomb: Oct, 2006 DB: Started in Dec, 2006 H moved out for 3 weeks in Mar, 2007 H back home and piecing?
H sms me and told me that OW sent him messages. I am happy that he is opening up to me and told him so. I also told him I will not ask for details and will wait when he is ready to tell me. I don't think he is ready to tell me everything, but this is a good thing that he is starting to tell me something.
Had a nightmare. In my dream, my brother (who know nothing about this) told me he got an invitation addressed to OW and H, addressed as if that they were married. I woke up quite shaken and started crying. H was very comforting and was holding me for a while. He probably guessed what the nightmare is related to and did not ask, just offer comfort. Eventually he asked what the dream was about and I told him. He said it's just a silly dream. I don't know if telling him about the dream was good or not. Or if I relied on him for comforting me was good or not. But no big discussion came out of this.
a bit of updating. Things are going well, other than OW contact. We went camping. It was a great weekend. The kids really liked it and since the kids and I were newbies in camping, we were all helpers in setting up the tent, and helping H in doing stuff. We lit a mini-campfire. Many of the kids at hte campsite came over and watched us buring sticks and such. Where we live now, camping is not "real" camping without the modern day amenities. As my son said, "It seems like these people just bring their house over and cook here, not like camping". Some people just brought their tent and slept there. But other than that, they ate out in restaurants and toured the place. Some other people brought all cooking stuff and cooked like they were at home. We tried to recreate a bit of a camping environment so we at least tried to cook some simple food on the fire, s'mores, etc. And we went fishing, bicycling, etc. It was fun. Our camp neighbor were young English teachers from Texas and Canada, and they came over to join our campfire marshmellow roasting party. My son were so excitied and kept showing them rocks, dead insects, etc.
Yesterday, I arranged for a friend to take my kids after school and I took H out for a nice dinner. Now we are in a small town where there are not many (if at all) restaurants with good food and atmosphere. I booked this one without having been there as we still don't know this place very well. When we got there, it was a nice surprise. The restaurant looked very nice, with a nice view, good food (for this town), and just wonderful atmosphere. H thanked me for taking him out to dinner and we had a really good time.
No talk on R. I know OW still contacts him. I am trying to concentrate on just getting my life in order with the kids and making friends here, and making H's everyday life a good one. He is so busy and stressed (good stress) at work. I think at least I can make the other aspect of his life easier.
There will be many mini-bomb-anniversaries coming up in the next few months. I plan to just try to live through it one by one.
