I just took a break from the boards for a few days. For some reason I started feeling down when I came on these boards, reading all of the posts and they made me begin to think that there is no hope in my situation. I have been really down these past few days.
Unfortunately I talked to my W about our R again, I know it is not the right thing to do but I felt I had to do it. Her comments are why would I want to live my life in misery as I have the past 14 years. We have been S over 4 months now and she is not letting go of any of the anger she has built up. I really want to save our R but it is becoming harder and harder. How can you be with someone for 22 years, married 14 years and have no feelings left? I can't understand this. I was a jerk as a H and didn't treat her as I should have, I never thought we would end up like this. I don't know which way to go from here, as you can see, I am really down on myself right now. Hopefully I will begin to feel better soon as this is no fun.
I think moving out on my own a month ago, "when I left my parents" has really set in this week and got me down. Do you ever feel useless? Let's hope better days are in the near future.
Ping, I know what you are feeling. My W says the same thing yours does. I feel we are married to the same woman. My W left me a message on the cell this morning that the papers were to be served on me today. I thought we were making progress but now I just don't know. This is very hard on me and I do not know how I will feel when the papers hit my hands. I question myself as to if I can keep my little changes going or will I let anger come sit on my shoulder and be my best friend?? I know if anger overtakes me I will be finished for good with no hope of reconciliation..It is hard to keep going on when your world is upside down.
