I do understand your frustration and pain. I understand it only too well now that I am divorced...
I'm really sad for you and its really hard to think of you just giving up and moving into the basement.
If you go that route, by the end of it, you will hate her so much that your kids really will NOT end up better off by having you there. They will have to explain to their friends issues such as "I don't think my mom and dad love each other, they don't even sleep in the same bed together". Then their friends will say "why don't they just get divorced then" and your kids will end up coming home to ask you that question. Can you see why this is not better than physically separating?
I'm so sorry your wife can't seem to find her way through her anger over the porn issue. But...I am also so sorry you can't seem to see your way through the pain involved here either. Neither of you wants to "be the bigger person" and take the first steps. Boy how I do know that feeling, and that's how I ended up divorced.
IF nothing else, I hope you'll get individual counseling so that you can work through your own feelings. That is the best place to start.
