I think the letter is extremely good. It touches on so many of the needed points, and does them with honesty and forthrightness. Bravo!!
I do think you need to add, at the end of the 2nd paragraph, " . . . but you need to get some help, first." I think your husband has problems with anger, and is quite possibly an alcoholic. I am the son of an alcoholic, and there's a lot of it in my family. I could obviously be wrong, but I don't think you should be so quick to let him back into your home with your daughter.
I also think, as you know, that "some contact but just not too much" with OM will NEVER work, as it never does in situations of adultery. Every contact he has with her, even in a business environment, will simply set his emotional clock back to "0:00:00" and he'll never get over her.
I think if you'll hold firm on these two things, you will see remarkable results. It will likely, however, get worse before it gets better.
