Going on Four Weeks MLCer Home

[Holly06]

Steelie,

I browsed a book last night that makes me think of your H.
Titled something like Men who Can't Love and what smart women can do about it.

It was talking about mostly about dating situations and men who are commitmentphobic. If you get this kind of thing, they tell you to walk out, and leave them alone. THe reason for this is that by leaving you allow him to miss you, and question his decision. By leaving you allow him to remember the good times and miss them.
By compromising for him to say, and meeting his every need they feel like they are sufficating, and need to run.....

sound familiar?

So yes, he is gonna find fault with everything. He is miserable.
He will not care about the dog. He will not like the bed.
But these are words, not actions.

Do I think you should go dark? No. Not even close.
Just don't take his words personally.
You are already "playing" it right. Leaving him alone,and trusting the process.
If you had been told that this was going to happen,we might even see it as progress? See, he has to go through this part. You can't have any of the answers, but you do have feelings and worries. Write those down. And keep them private.
Before the dawn it is the darkest. Rollercoasters, up, and then down. The ride evens out. Itjust doesn't feel like that when you are experiencing them.


You are doing the best thing for him, a very good balance of love and biting your tongue. Now do something for you and think about stress relief.

I suggest exercise. Walking preferably......