"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Hello Cinders....how have you been??? I have been meaning to ask you about your daughter. How is she? I remember her pulling a little spot of her hair out a while back....I really hope she recovered from that.
Take Care
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Girl, it was hilarious to me as well. Had I been drinking coffee at the time I would have spewed. Man that is funny stuff! I love your attitude and style.
Happy April Fool's Day!
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
He is in therapy once a week...been going for about 6 weeks now. His therapist has told him that she has seen alot of change in him. He has told me he was sorry for everything. He has begin to see the OW as a manipulative person, which she is and every0ne has told him this, but now he has finally seen it. He still loves her though. Wants to be friends with her, but she wants more....but her true colors are starting to show through to him...after more than a year....Its not over in my opinion, but the good news is the therapy is really helping him. He did go off his meds last week and actually could tell a difference, so he went back on them, his therapist even fussed at him about it. He is learning to deal with his feelings, he is less angry, and lots of other stuff...Of course this is coming from him and all I can say is that actions speak louder than words and I am waiting to see the changes....Im looking at it this way, he has had over a month with the ow and I have not done any interfering what so ever....nothing! NOt that I ever did before, but I can say that I tried to snoop some....but he ended things with her.
I dont know what is going to happen and I am staying busy with my life, but I know that right now he wants to come home. He has asked to move back in, give up his house he is renting. He has told me that he knows it will be hard, and that feelings are there, he told me that he does love me, just not "in love" with me. He told me and His therapist that I understand his feelings better than the OW does....but the insensitive side of him says that she is a better friend....for now....hopes that we can be the same.
I still havent given him an answer. I still dont aske about the OW any. He says he also has questions for me, but wants me to bring them up and not him...or that they will answer themselves with time.
What I have learned is that the OW was always asking him if he was missing me or calling and texting me. It was driving him crazy. What was worse for them was him telling her that he did miss me. OR that he did want to see me....she was always assuming he was going to come back to me.....why wouldnt she? He always does...she thinks that he should have NO feelings for me whatsoever if he is with her and he didnt agree to that....Its kinda funny to learn now all that has gone on with them for the past month, when I was assuming they were living it up!! Happy. But they were both miserable...that is why he has been talking to me sooo much lately...I assumed they were together this whole time, but they werent really....
I have no idea what is going to happen now, but I am taking it one day at a time. He will not move back in, he will not hurt me again. I am going to make sure this is what I want before a decision is made. He has to show me that he has changed. He did say to his therapist that I had done alot of changing and she told him that it doesnt matter if I had told him I had changed, he needed to see it and he said he has....but I have changed for me....not him.
Please no 2x4's, I havent taken him back....but we are keeping it friendly for now, and seeing where it goes.
The bad thing is that I have heard all of this from him before.
Last edited by kissak; 04/08/0808:04 PM.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Thanks Guys....trust me, my eyes and ears are fully open!!
Thanks for the prayers, I believe God is allowing all of this to happen for a reason. I mean, why else would someone go back and forth soooo much. God is definitly trying to do something here.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
He has asked to move back in, give up his house he is renting. He has told me that he knows it will be hard, and that feelings are there, he told me that he does love me, just not "in love" with me.
Would you move in with a guy who maybe wanted to date you but wasn't sure if he was attracted to you and wasn't over his ex-girlfriend? NO!
Tell him he has to start at the beginning. He has to ask you out on dates. He has to woo you. MAYBE, if YOUR feelings start to come back, you would CONSIDER him moving back sometime in the future, but NOT NOW.
He's still way too confident that you are there waiting for him, and all he has to do is decide between you and OW. You need to be mysterious, get him to watch the kids while you go away for the weekend to some undisclosed location. It's amazing what a little jealousy will do to snap those "feelings" back into place!
I need help guys....I need some much needed advice on what to do. I had a conversation last night with my H that ended up with him saying it sounded like I didnt want to give him the chance. I was honest with him and told him that I was affraid to. That I didnt want to get hurt, that I knew he wasnt over the OW and if he left again I wanted it to be because it werent going to work, not because he wanted to go back to her. He said he was scared to and couldnt assure me of anything but said he could assure me that it wouldnt be because of the OW.
But, he still loves her and the big fight they had that supposedly brought him back to me, could have been avoided.
I know it isnt over. I know he will want to go back. Although right now he says he doesnt simply because she had little regards to his feelings. But I asked him what about when he gets "over" that. Will he want to go back?
I honestly cant do this. I have no idea what to do. I know it wont work this time either, I DO NOT want to get hurt.
I just sat in the hallway at home this morning in tears, because I want this so badly, and he is asking for the chance, but I see nothing different....but what do I do about it? What if it would work this time?
A part of me wants to tell him that I cant give him another chance because until she is out of the pic, there will be no chance. But another part of me doesnt want to live with the guilt of making that decision.
He says he has feelings for me, not like her though. He said he has seen the changes he can make in our marriage that would make it work, but also knows he can work on things with her.
I guess I entertained the thought of taking him back before I knew the whole story. He has took what he said then and said that he feels different now. He took me saying last night that I was scared about giving him another chance as me saying that I hadnt decided that I was going to or even wanted to.
I dont know what to do...all I know is that I am scared and I dont want to get hurt again or my kids...it already started this morning with me snapping at them....
Im so torn on what to do or how I can make this work if I am in constant fear of him leaving again. And you are right, he is way to confident that I will always be there waiting for him, but what do I do about that? Tell him I am not going to give him the chance until....what?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Sorry....it was funny to me.....
