He is in therapy once a week...been going for about 6 weeks now. His therapist has told him that she has seen alot of change in him. He has told me he was sorry for everything. He has begin to see the OW as a manipulative person, which she is and every0ne has told him this, but now he has finally seen it. He still loves her though. Wants to be friends with her, but she wants more....but her true colors are starting to show through to him...after more than a year....Its not over in my opinion, but the good news is the therapy is really helping him. He did go off his meds last week and actually could tell a difference, so he went back on them, his therapist even fussed at him about it. He is learning to deal with his feelings, he is less angry, and lots of other stuff...Of course this is coming from him and all I can say is that actions speak louder than words and I am waiting to see the changes....Im looking at it this way, he has had over a month with the ow and I have not done any interfering what so ever....nothing! NOt that I ever did before, but I can say that I tried to snoop some....but he ended things with her.
I dont know what is going to happen and I am staying busy with my life, but I know that right now he wants to come home. He has asked to move back in, give up his house he is renting. He has told me that he knows it will be hard, and that feelings are there, he told me that he does love me, just not "in love" with me. He told me and His therapist that I understand his feelings better than the OW does....but the insensitive side of him says that she is a better friend....for now....hopes that we can be the same.
I still havent given him an answer. I still dont aske about the OW any. He says he also has questions for me, but wants me to bring them up and not him...or that they will answer themselves with time.
What I have learned is that the OW was always asking him if he was missing me or calling and texting me. It was driving him crazy. What was worse for them was him telling her that he did miss me. OR that he did want to see me....she was always assuming he was going to come back to me.....why wouldnt she? He always does...she thinks that he should have NO feelings for me whatsoever if he is with her and he didnt agree to that....Its kinda funny to learn now all that has gone on with them for the past month, when I was assuming they were living it up!! Happy. But they were both miserable...that is why he has been talking to me sooo much lately...I assumed they were together this whole time, but they werent really....
I have no idea what is going to happen now, but I am taking it one day at a time. He will not move back in, he will not hurt me again. I am going to make sure this is what I want before a decision is made. He has to show me that he has changed. He did say to his therapist that I had done alot of changing and she told him that it doesnt matter if I had told him I had changed, he needed to see it and he said he has....but I have changed for me....not him.
Please no 2x4's, I havent taken him back....but we are keeping it friendly for now, and seeing where it goes.
The bad thing is that I have heard all of this from him before.
Last edited by kissak; 04/08/0808:04 PM.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
