Well my H is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *( me jumping up and down for joy)
I am doing welll everyone. I am amazed at the changes in him and I am amazed at myself for living with him in the moment and not ~Dragging everything but the kitchen sick in our bedroom.
I dunno if I am HD now or not but I cannot seem to keep my hands off him. We are getting along in a way that I used to think impossible. He did try to start a little whining this morning and I nicely said " are you really gonna start honey? Come on."
~end of discussion.....
I am doing well and I am feeling good about our interaction. I am also proud of him , he is really so much more available now and present also.
I do feel that this time he took his extended VACATION.. with this Family in Mexico..... he changed and realized how much we mean to him.
He didnt have much fun without me *, he told me this many times.
~And really what is very important is I truly let go of him.
((((((Set it free........ it will come back to you..... * I know it goes something like that*))))))
I truly loved him from a distance and did not enable him and I also grew because of it. I used to go between being strong and being a big baby... this time I displayed a steady stream of strength and also one of dignity and that I want him in my life I do not need him in my life per se. It is very different when you love from that point.
Sure I would get emotional here and there.
....cry when he called me ,cause I missed him, but for the most part when I spoke to him I was always happy and feeling good.
*(boundaries~ 180 for me*) .. and when he seemed like "~Oscar the grouch " which I cal him from time to time. I would nicely yet firmly say " I am going to let you go because you seem ugly and this has nothing to do with me"
I find this bliss about me now and a calmness I have not felt in a very long time. Yes he is 95% better in spirit than he was two years ago , but you know it is more of my awareness that I need to create my own happiness he can just compliment what is already going on in me. I am doing it so far not having a reflected sense of self from him any longer.... and so far this feels so much better!
I still must say thank you to those of you who have given me advice over the years..... somehow you always knew what to say and when I needed you all , you certainly never let me down. I thank you all and myself for having the knowledge that I must open myself up to change and really hear what you all were saying to me.
My H as well for finally talking to me and telling me his feelings.... ~ Wives are NOT mind readers........
~~~~Most of all for letting him go.
To stumble and fall on his own..... he had to fix himself. I was going crazy trying to do it FOR HIM and driving him crazy as well......
the road to hell is paved with good intentions......
