unconditional love.......the pain of it all...

[Treese]

Hello Everyone;

I am new to this forum, I have been over in the MLC forum but thought maybe I belonged over here. so here it goes....

I've been with my H since the age of 14...dating and having fun..got married at 20, first baby at 22...my life was just as I had planned it...
We had our 23rd Wedding Anniversary last October which H totally avoided, went out of town as to not aknowledge it...I'll tell you why later...

Fast forward to Jan/07....a man showed up at my door with a package of proof that my H was having an affair....broke my heart..i can't begin to tell you the pain...I confronted H and he admitted to it and cell bills were unbelievable....he actually talked to her on my Anniversary for 4 hours, guess why...it was OW birthday....great....well, time went on and I forgave him, he was very attentive and I always knew where he was, then I found out he was talking to her again....so I blew...called him every name in the book, should have kicked him out then but I loved him so I didn't.

Fast forward....May, Mother's Day. got a journey necklace, and I love you, a great card and I told him it was the best mother's day ever.....then in June he hit me with the bomb..ILYBINILWY!! totally pulled the rug out from under me....we lived together but H slept in another room....from July until he moved out in Jan/08. I am torn apart...I have not ML to my H since June of 07, I'm sure per OW>..She has since divorced her H of 21 years in December so she is free to do what she wants.

Fast forward again.....OW buys H an ipod for Christmas that he lies about and says he won at work....I knew.....

Then OW XH calls me on 3/17 to tell me H was spending nights at OW house now, pulls in garage like he lives there...I call him, he laughs at me and said he was expecting my call, that our divorce is inevitable, we're separated (not legally) and it shouldn't matter where he is but it matters to me...then on 3/18 I get an anonymous email that my H has a child from an affair from 8 years ago....someone he works with....another bomb....I blew again, slapping his face and his children now are even more angry with him as he kept a secret for 8 years...who does that....anyway, I told him I hoped he rotted in H***. My D15 tore in to him and he told her he didn't expect her to understand relationships now and she would when she got older...that he hadn't loved me for 15 years.....then when D15 said "I'm 15 and my brother is 10, he changed it to 9 years....he's nuts....He says people make mistakes, he was wrong, blah, blah, blah....I am so pissed at this point I told him to get out....but he didnt ..My son 10 was crying and called my D21 on the phone who is at college and kept her on the phone for 2 hours....ok, night ends and the next day he has the nerve to call me to ask if he can use my car.....dummy me lets him..his had to go to the shop...yep....someone poured syrup in his gas tank...hmmmmm....could it be the XH of the girl you're seeing....idiot...$1100 to fix.....had to file police report and on the report it says he was there for 3 days and it could have happened over those 3 days....I was so sick to my stomach...

Well, I am devastated to say the least.....I love him with all my heart and soul.....

I need advice....do you think he will ever come back, is he really in love with this OW....if I go dim will it help....

long post I know, and I'm sure there are holes but I can fill them in if need be....

I want my H to come home but I dont know how to get that to happen...he kept a secret from me, he had no faith in his wife but told the OW before he told me....I'm sure they are planning their future together that will involve his other child.....

Where do I start......

Treese