My wife and I have been married for almost 14 years and have three children. This is my first marriage and her second. Her first one ended in an anulment after just a few months due to her husband's cheating. My wife is pretty much a-sexual. Due to our beliefs, we waited unitl our wedding night for sex, which I now regard as a mistake. By our second day we had begun fighting about sex and it has never stopped. I am a high drive person and would be happy with once or twice per day. I have never actually figured out if my wife has a sex drive. Through our first few years, we would manage once or twice a week, but it always was a chore for my wife. She often encourages me to hurry up and finish. I always initiate. Our last several years have been hell for both of us. One of our children was diagnosed with cancer, the plant where I worked closed, my side business failed and I now have a crappy job. Near the end of my son's treatment I started looking at porn. After a couple of months, I decided that was wrong and confessed to my wife on the advice of my accountability partners, big mistake. Two years later, she still has not forgiven me, even after councelling etc. After years of constant rejection, being made to feel like a pervert for having a sex drive and enjoying variety, I have given up. The last time we had sex was Christmas. It took until late February for her to notice. I told her we would have sex as soon as she asked. It is now April. I now sympathize with her first husband. Bait and switch. She used to put out for him before they married and quit right after. I never even got that. If we did not have the children, I would leave. What should I do?
