So far I am obeying doctors orders but I just don't think I am strong enough for surgery this week. I can't walk any distance at all without out feeling totally wiped out and gasping for air.
This is a decision for your doctor to make, not you. Pam, it's important that you do what the doc says. Especially, if you, yourself, know that you're not thinking clearly.
Instead of second guessing your doc, put your efforts to figuring out a way to get this paid for. Call the hospital, tell them your situation and see if they have any resources available. My brother had to have back surgery while he was in college. He had no insurance but he found a way to get it paid for that didn't cost him a cent. Even if nothing is available, you will find a way to pay for this in time. Right now, you need to do whatever it takes to get healthy again.
