That is clearly alcoholic behavior. I used to get that kind of out of control bullying from my son. But once he was arrested and put into a rehab program and put on the anti-alcohol drug antabuse, everything changed. You should have told the police to take him. You missed a great opportunity to let him face the consequences of his actions. He will never change as long as you protect him. Promise yourself that you will NEVER AGAIN rescue him. He is like a two year old throwing fits. You can't control him, but the police, a court system and a judge can. And it is worth more than the $10,000-15,000. In the end it will save his life, and perhaps yours too.
Neecy, You ARE strong, but I think it is your H who is the confused one! I do worry about you for sure; I hope you will be careful and not let your H get away with anything that might seriously hurt you!!! Karen
I made it through night 1. It wasn't as bad as I thought, I really didn't cry, I thought about how crappy it was that it has come to this but I wasn't in agony. H texted me about 10 times between the time I got off work and 8:30. What am I doing, what did I have for dinner ect., did I still want him to watch D today. At 8:30 the contact stopped and I did not hear from him the rest of the night. It was hard for me not to call or text to see where he was or how he was, but I didn't.
He arrived this morning at 6:15, I have to leave for work at 7:10. He brought coffee and a doughnut for my daughter. He looked like hell and claimed to have slept in his car - I strongly question this - in his past history if this was the case I would have rec'd random messages all night long. Regardless I guess that should not be my concern right now. I really was not that good at putting on a smile and not addressing the R, while I didn;t address anything specifically about the R I did ask if he felt that all his choices were worth having no where to go and sleeping in the car. I did not cry while he was there so I am happy for that. He was trying not to cry for most of the time until I left.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I think you have responded to me before. Stay strong. i am really seeing that when I really db, FOR ME, things are better with h and most importantly, with myself. I just learned this recently.
No, I am saying there were no text messages all night long. I did respond to the ones up until 8:30 not to every one, but most, some involved actual care for my daughter.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I know you don't feel strong, but you ARE. You're going through one of the most difficult things in the world to endure... you're still being a great mom and you still have your dignity.
Make a list of all your wonderful qualities and accomplishments and embrace the magnificent that is you.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
thanks girl, I feel stronger today than I did yesterday afternoon, I didn't think I could actually make it through the first night without changing my mind.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling stronger today. I'm sure last night was rough, but you made it through.
I know it must be hard to see H in the condition he was in this morning after a long night away from his family, but hopefully he took some time to think about what he has done/is doing.
Just a word of caution: Please don't let him weasel his way back into the house. Not this soon. His issues (the drinking, violent tendencies, etc) need to be addressed. You've got to show him, not just tell him, that you will not subject yourself to something like this again.
If he cries, as hard as it will be, you've got to look past the tears and ignore the words. They mean nothing. If he wants your trust again, he has to work for it, and it will not happen overnight.
(((Take care of yourself and D.)))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
