Hey sideswiped and one_light, keep walking strong.
Zuma, you write "I have changed my whole perspective on marriage and want to start being happy with her as soon as possible." and there is nothing at all wrong in that, but it seems to have a chance of getting to that you have to in the first instance change your aim to "I have changed my whole perspective on life and want to start being happy with me as soon as possible."
For my own situation I understand my wife left because she saw a better life that didn't include me, she may be right. If I try, however subtly, to convince her she is wrong, she will try all the harder to show me she is right. What to do then? I set about improving my life, for me. Not to teach her a lesson but to make my life better for me. For me that's been, working less, doing travelling, picking back up sports I loved and had dropped, seeking out and making new friends with people I can really connect with by joining clubs for the sports I love. It has been hard pushing myself to do this, but gradually I'm feeling happier and more content in my skin. I'm enjoying life a lot more. It would be still be great to have my wife back, but only if she really wants to come back. But it's not vital to my existence any more, because happiness is now possible without her. If she does come back though I'll know its not because of any speech I made, it's because she will have seen me enjoying a life that she wanted to be part of again.
It's a bit like that story of the sun and the wind looking down on a man walking through the park and having a bet on who could get his coat off him. The wind goes first and blows and blows but the more the wind blows the more man wraps his coat tighter round him until the wind is exhausted and gives up in a huff. The sun simply shines and after a while the man takes his coat of himself.
Purr... It's crap sometimes eh. I still have crap days but less of them. Your tip about just thinking about day about the next hour, next 5 minutes, not your whole future is a great one.
