I told her that I still love her, and always have. But I want us to at least cease our hostilities for the sake of our sons, if nothing else. She totally denies my love. Her idea of what is and is not love is so skewed, she sets up impossible ideals for me to prove my sincerity.
Nocode, you didn't blow it! I think your W is the one that blew it. I believe that our spouses are messed up and can't handle real love right now, for whatever reason. I know the last time I told my H that I loved him, we had one of our biggest fights ever, he acted like me saying ILY was a capital crime and made me promise to never say it to him again! I am thinking that maybe it is the guilt that would make that so painful to them. It sounds like maybe that is happening with your W; they can't stand to hear ILY or have you treat them nicely or the guilt will set in if they think about that. I think that is why my H always tries to pick fights with me, which he does really often. I always try not to b/c I don't want him to get the satisfaction of alleviating some of his guilt!!!
I feel so bad that I hear you blaming yourself and down on yourself like that! You know your W is the one that is messed up and continues to mess up! You have tried so hard to deal with her and you haven't failed her or your boys!!! And maybe I am naive, but you know miracles do happen and def. could happen to you, but maybe for whatever reason God has something else in store for you! Please don't be so hard on yourself (so easy for me to say of course) !!!
You know your W is the one that is messed up and continues to mess up! You have tried so hard to deal with her and you haven't failed her or your boys!!! And maybe I am naive, but you know miracles do happen and def. could happen to you, but maybe for whatever reason God has something else in store for you! Please don't be so hard on yourself (so easy for me to say of course) 