"I asked if in her view of the future did she see us ever kissing again, or sharing a bed, she teasingly said maybe"
Sweetie, you are pushing again. I know it is so hard, but don't blow it now. You've come a long way...baby stepping it just like you are suppose to. You are just getting horny!
Let me tell you why I know how your W feels. I left my H for about a week once and had no sexual desire what-so-ever for him. I was talked into going back to him (against my wishes) but anyway, the thing is that I told him not to push me about having sex and he promised he wouldn't......but, I knew that he was just hanging there by a thread all the time waiting for me to give the word. I'm not sure, b/c it was too many years ago, but I think he kind of said some things along the lines that you said to your W. Like, "How long do you think it will be before you are ready to have sex?" It would just turn me off that much more. Even when he didn't say anything, I could sense it and it was pressure on me.
I know this is not good news to you, but you have got to think of it as courting her....like you said. That is what you are actually doing! That is why you have to be as attractive in your personality, looks, sex appeal and every part of the R to draw her back to you.
I really wished that you both could move away from any of the relatives and especially get her away from that job where OM is. I just don't think it is going to be a good idea for her to return to a location where she is seeing OM. But, who knows, maybe he will get relocated.
You have to think about hospital insurance and a lot of things like that when you have a baby coming. My H and I never thought too much about job benifits when we were young, but believe me....I do now! It is very expensive to have a baby without insurance now.
I sense your impatience b/c you are wanting to rush things along too rapidly. Stop and think where you were just a few weeks ago. Slow down and don't push. She has come a long way, Steve. But, until she is ready to turn lose of the OM, I wouldn't be looking for too many kisses anytime soon. Don't be counting on any for your birthday. The reason I say this is b/c you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Remember me telling you how men get their hopes up at the slightest little positive move? That is what you are doing. Don't go looking at the calendar and saying, "Maybe by this date I'll get a kiss." Forget it. I mean it, Steve.....forget about the kissing! She will give you a kiss when she is ready and if you force it before she's ready....you will screw it up! Besides, she sees it in you just like I saw it in my H and that's not good. So, that is why I said forget about it. You are horny and you are thinking about it way too much. And.....don't you dare...DON'T YOU DARE ASK HER FOR A KISS!! A woman hates that in a man! Did Rhett Butler ask Scarlett for a kiss? I should say not! He took it....but don't try that just yet. (lol) BTW, have you see the movie yet?
Speaking of movies, when I read about the horse anology, it reminded me of an old movie with Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee years ago titled "When a Man Answers". Sandra's mother was teaching her how to "train" her H, so she gave her a book about how to train man's best friend....a dog. It worked very well until Bobby, her H, found out about the book....lol. So, I would be careful treating her like a horse. Besides, you can't trick W's like you can horses....lol.
Later, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
