Sorry I didn't get back on to check on all of you yesterday. I'm slowly making my rounds right now.
Interesting things are happening.. not too sure what they mean.
Sunday - H came to the house at about 11:30pm.. I took him to the hospital for his surgery this morning (Monday morning) so he slept over so that I could drop D2 off at daycare and then take him to the hospital. When he came in he came up to our room with his duffel bag... put his pj's on.. came and gave me a peck... then went downstairs to make himself a large pasta dinner to tie him over since he wasn't to eat anything past midnight and his surgery was at 9 or 9:30am. I figured he would sleep on the couch or the spare room but he didn't.. he came and slept in our bed.. Hmmm, interesting!
Fast forward to today.. Monday.. did the daycare drop off and took him to the hospital.. I told him that I would stay until I he was brought up to his room.. he said I didn't have to but I told him I wanted to. Before the operation I gave him a big hug and assured him that everything was going to go great and he would be just fine.. he got teary but cracked a joke to get himself more collected.
His surgery went fine.. he was in recovery for a couple of hours.. I met him up in his room when they settled him in. He gave me a big high five and thumbs up (can't speak because they broke and reset his jaw and removed 3 wisdom teeth.. so his mouth is wired shut).. he gave me hand signals that it was nice to see me.. It was like we were playing charades.. He spelled the word groggy with his fingers in the air when I asked him how he was feeling.. So he was very drugged up. The nurse gave him a pen and paper and he wrote on it "I love u baby". I said thank you.. I love you too. He ended up passing out so I sat there for a while until I started nearly falling asleep.. so I went down and grabbed a latte (loved that they had a starbucks in there).. came back to his room and sat some more.. He woke up and wasn't feeling the best so I got the nurse.. she gave him some gravel because he felt sick.. anyway, in the end he drew a hangman game on the paper and had me start guessing what the word was... I nearly lost the game but I did eventually get the word.. it was actually the words "Im sorry". I'm not sure if it's the drugs or his weakened state or if there is something other than his leaving that he's sorry for.. But I do know that at that moment he felt sorry for something. I told him that I thanked him for this wake up call.. it's allowed me an opportunity to see some things I needed to improve about myself.. and "I" apologized because I realized I had taken him for granted too..
So that's what's happened.
Don't know where or if this stuff is going to go anywhere and trying desperately not to hold any expectations.
Well I've got more people to look in on... I hope you're all hanging in there!
He is definitely coming around, maybe motivated by the stress of his surgery? The fact that you were there to support him today can't go unnoticed. Also, your attitude of keeping expectations low is the right way to handle it. You must be encouraged by the last few days. It's the kind of interaction that all of wish we had with our spouses again. Keep doing what you are doing, because it is working. Congrats again!
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I guess I am an old romantic, but your story of being there with your H following surgery got a little tear in my eyes. Kind of like the end of Rocky 1 where all Rocky and Adrian only care about seeing each other: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWuP1J4R1_o
Wow! W2G that's such a great eventful day for you. Not so great that H is having to deal with this but you got a chance to really show him how much you care and love him. What guy wouldn't see that?
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
you are doing such a good job!! I am so excited about him writing I love you and the "i'm sorry" hangman game!! I am SOOOOOOO proud of you, and excited for you!!!!!!!!
Loved reading your post! I know it was a rough day w/the surgery, but it sounded really NICE at the same time! You crack me up with the lattes! Pretty soon they will even have a Starbucks IN the OR, at this rate! I actually got myself one tonight....
Anyway glad to hear things are looking good with you and H. I know, no expectations. But he opened up some, even without being able to speak! That says a lot I think.
I actually got myself one tonight....