H is Home After 2 1/2 years!

[trytoohard]

I have finally moved over here from the MLC boards as I am now officially building a new relationship with my H.

H moved back in two weeks ago. It was a gradual thing that was precipitated by my accepting a position in another town 3 hours away.

I wasn't looking for this opportunity, it found me by way of a professional recruiter. After much discussion, H and I decided that this is a perfect opportunity for us to build a new life together in a different town.

Also, we are going to have to live apart for another year as our son wants to graduate from the high school he's been attending with his friends.

So....

H and son will stay in our home until S graduates in 2009.

I have leased an apartment in new town and D20 will join me next month when she finishes her current semester.

I will travel home twice monthly at least to see S and H and ready our house for the market.

I had my last therapy session today as I leave for new town this Friday. H is still going every other week but may move up to weekly now that my slot is open.

There is no walking on egg shells.

No fear of H leaving again.

No fear of doing the wrong thing or "running him off".

Only the wonderful assurance of knowing that I am healthy and that as long as I hold onto myself, things will be as they are intended to be.

The "secret" to all of this I have found is that you have to confront yourself before things change.

Until you do an honest self-confrontation, learn about your dark side and embrace those things that need to be worked on, nothing changes.

Once you know who you are and REALLY get it in your head that the only person you can control is you, nothing changes.

Once you realize that you don't have to hate your estranged spouse to let them go, nothing changes.

Until you believe that each and every one of us has a right to choose our path, our life and our partners in life, you may hang onto someone or something that has choosen someone or something else.

The past 2 1/2 years have sometimes felt like walking on hot coals or broken glass. Looking back at what it took to wake me up and force my hand and heart to change, I would trade a step on my journey.