Just checking. Thanks for the info. However, if he really didn't want to be there he could find some place to go. I am hoping for continued forward progress and future spankings for you!
I agree Red.. there are other options for places your H can stay.. if he really didn't want to be near you he would find somewhere else to be.. he's just really in limbo/confusion land.
I know patience is a struggle... especially when you hear something that knocks the air out of you.... I think this break for business probably arrived at just the right time.
The break is needed, however, his "best friend" might be there with him. She often travels with him. I am ready to tell him that it is that B and the other B that is pursuing him, or me. I am done with their $h!t. I guess they have very little respect for themselves that they would continue to pursue a married man with a boot load of problems.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I really try not to think too much about these OW.. because like you I can't grasp how they can convince themselves that screwing up a family and a marriage is okay..
Please try not to assume that she is w/ him.. unless you know she is you could be causing yourself undo stress!!
Thanks W2G...it is just so hard to not think about it. I know they are losers, and if that is how H wants to spend his life...at least I know I will be happy. I won't spend the rest of my life with losers.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I can relate. I told H in no uncertain terms this weekend that we ARE going to be living separately in IA b/c he has not made any appreciable changes and I cannot continue to live w/"I don't know". I also pointed out in the course of that brief discussion that I have nothing but his word that OW is out of the picture and unless he can come up with something better than that I have no reason to believe him. So far he is actually acting a lot different, but I am not sure if it will last....
Anyway I ramble as you know, brief is an unknown quantity for me! But the point is, if you feel you need to take this stand, take it. I think even if our H's don't "choose" us in the end, they will have more respect for us, and we will have more for ourselves. You are right, women who go after married men are losers and nothing to be proud of. The one who went after H was married herself w/a toddler so that is super low.
I know you will be happy in the end b/c you are good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!
[Hope you saw that Saturday Night Live sketch from 10+ years ago or that last part sounded really stupid! :)]
Thanks Kalni...sorry I haven't been on your thread. I haven't had a break since H has been out of town. It is hard to get on here these days and the computer hasn't been cooperating either.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
It has been one busy day after another. Running the Ds here and there. The month of April is always a very busy one for us and I am living for the end.
I found out yesterday how doing something so simple can yield some positive results. When I got home in the afternoon I noticed that some of my spring flowers had opened up. I took a couple of pics and sent them to H. No written text just the pics. H called a few minutes later and was surprised that they were blooming. I guess he appreciated me thinking of him. He also told me he wasn't feeling well. Told him I hoped he felt better and that I wasn't feeling so hot either. When H called later in the day said he had felt better but was feeling bad again.
Before I went to bed I sent a little text telling H goodnight (first i have done since he was out of town)and telling him I hoped he felt better. I imediately got a text in response with pretty much the same msg.
This morning H called me while I was at work...out of the blue...no reason. Maybe there is still hope. I guess I just need to lay low and try to do more thoughtful things.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Glad you are seeing little positives! And nice of you to do thoughtful things for H. Nothing too pushy about a picture of flowers or a "good night" text. Sounds like you are doing the right thing b/c he is responding.......
