Still in love and struggling

[Wide_awake]

Hello everyone,

I thought it was time for me to move over here. To make a long story short (I don't know how to post a link to my other thread), my wife broke from our marriage in Nov/Dec 2006. She said it was over several times and started partying all the time and not coming home. Her best friend also got a divorce during this time and there is something more to their friendship than just friends-an emotional affair at the bare minimum.

I started doing DB and really looking at what I have screwed up in our 16 yr marriage. It is a lot, but I didn't feel it was enough to end this. Last summer she started taking steps towards me again and we started spending more time together and talking about our problems. Then right before Christmas she decided, without warning that it was truly over and we both needed to move on.

I'm madly in love with this woman and for the last year, I think that love has grown the more I understand both of us and what we brought into the marriage. She is done, she uses the standard I love you, but I'm not in love with you line all the time. She wants excitement, passion and she says when the feelings are gone, they are gone forever.

I'm having a real hard time letting go. I am doing what she asks. We are paying things that we need to pay (we are very tight financially), we are both working on the house and the land (3 acres) to get it ready for sale. Neither of us can afford it on our own and its a dream house-meant for a family. Not just one person rambling around in it.

I feel lost, so lost. Empty. Nothing, even now, feels right without her. I'm doing all the right things-journaling, counseling etc...

How do I go home tonight and work on the house again beside her-like we never used to-and not break down. **sigh**