Help me act AS IF, Thread 4

[newnamenewlife]

Thanks, CW, you did mention it. I've seen that site and of course the idea is wonderful; the problem I'm having is getting past my own hurt and anger so I can focus on my children first. It's really, really hard for me to imagine letting H change our family so much. I don't know how or when one can get to a place of letting go and thinking only of the children--is it a matter of time, and can it happen if H is still here? It doesn't feel like something I can simply DECIDE to do any more than my H feels like loving me is something he can decide.

I am still truly unable to imagine sitting down with our kids and dropping this bomb. This morning my d7 made H&I a picture with our names in a heart. D11 recently saw a bunch of the love letters H has written me out on top of my dresser (I had been torturing myself with them the night before). I know kids survive D all the time, but when it comes to actually doing it to your own kids--in my case it is very, very, very hard.