I would rather be alone than to be living with an emotionally vacant and totally selfish person Besides, we're only as alone as we choose to be, and it's so nice to be with people who want to be a part of our lives.
Before the whole crap hit the fan in early Feb my sitter died, a wonderful lively woman of 43. At her funeral (if there is such thing, the most beautiful funeral I've even been to) everyone rejoiced celebrating her life. The oldest d got up and turning to the father she said "thank you dad for loving her so much, she knew she was loved, you were her best friend and thank you for giving her a wonderful life"
Ohhhh, how my heart ached to hear that, how she knew she was loved and her H was her best friend, that's the kind of man I wanted, not the the spineless H I had who was stringing ow along and lying and betraying me every day for the past 8mths, how he didnt' give a damn how his actions would affect me.
I was very afraid of being alone at the beginning. But as I slowly find peace I realize that I think I want to be alone for a bit, not ready to deal with a man and his baggage (we all have some!). Not so afraid of being on my own, and yes, we are as alone as we choose to be.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
