Right. You can't control what H does, and if he gives in to more contact with OW, that is his choice.

But what you CAN do is set your own limits. However, you MUST also be able to ENFORCE THEM.

What happened after H told you of the phone call with OW? What did YOU do and/or say to H that let him know this is not alright with you?

If it happens again, will you be ok with it? If not, what will be the consequence for your H not respecting your personal boundaries?

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell