I want to add that, at least from everything I have read on this board, you are definitely not a martyr. If anything, you are being "martyred" for what you believe in but I do not see you seeking it out or taking pleasure from it.
Just as Jack stated above, the people we see today that embody the definition of a martyr usually "complain more and do less". That is not you, in my book.
Hugs!
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God