In keeping with the "if it ain't workin' do something different" approach to DBing, I felt compelled to send my W flowers for Mother's Day. The following is a cut and past of a previous letter written to my Midlife group:
You all know I sent Valorie flowers for Mother's Day. What impulse drove me to do it, I can't say. It was a simple arrangement in a vase, not a gazillion roses with a mushy card. I merely wrote, 'always yours, only yours.'
Well, the phone rang and I couldn't get to it before voice mail. I looked at the number and figured it was the flower shop confirming delivery, so I pressed recall. A male voice picked it up and said 'hello.' Thinking it was the flower shop (good thing) I put on my nice voice and said 'Hi, who is this?' The answer came 'Chris.' It took a quick second to process this, because the flower shop is right around the corner from where W is. I went 'hello Chris'. (For those who don't know, Chris is the OM.) Now some of this is fuzzy, but the main points are lucid. I never expected any response to these flowers, much less a call from him. He said 'we got the flowers'. I think I said 'I hope you enjoyed them.' He said 'what do you want?' I said I want my wife back.' He said some sarcastic things in an attempt to hurt me, but I don't think God is letting me remember those. (I really felt at times that God was speaking through me.) He told me 'Valorie doesn't love you.' I answered, 'odd. She's never said that to me.' He sarcastically attempted to tell me 'she's right here' and I said 'great! Put her on. I'd love to talk to her.' Needless to say, she did not come to the phone. I don't think she was there. I don't she would have let him make the call. He also said something mean about her, and I said 'that's not like Valorie. She wouldn't do something like that.' He made sarcastic remarks about my 2 year sobriety chip that I sent. I said ' I will send her the 3 year one too.' He remarked 'it's over.' I said 'it isn't over til God says it's over.' After each of these responses there were grumblings and mumblings of someone not knowing how to respond. These are the salient points. There was a sarcastic remark about 'I thought the money would buy you off.' I said, 'I didn't want the money, I wanted my wife.' He made remarks 'I guess we'll have to get more restraining orders (these were thin, stupid threats based on what she said to him. MLCers...geez) I said, 'I've never had a restraining order against me. In fact, I've never even been up there.' There was some other testosterone thrown about by him, alluding to things she obviously told him. It was spew, only designed to hurt. I ignored it. He asked what I was doing. I said 'I married my wife for life. I am standing for my marriage, and I will be here long after you are gone.' I remarked at one point that I wasn't even sure she got what I sent her. He said 'SHE KEEPS EVERYTHING YOU SEND HER.' He said 'I do not bother her mail (although he must read it because he saw the chip.). SO, now I know she keeps what I send, and now, because he called me, I have her new phone number. Friends, I do not believe God wants me to recall every incident. Ask me questions. I am better at that. But this absolutely blows my mind! I have begged the Lord for communication, I have wondered if if she even sees my letters, and I have wondered how to reach her since she had her last phone shut off. Now, today, because of this man, I have all three. As the conversation wound down and he saw he could not get me upset, he went to sign off. I said 'God Bless you.' He mumbled something like 'yeah right' as non believers do, and hung up. I praised God for that call.
The voice on that phone was a frightened man, a threatened man, and not physically threatened. I'm a man and I know a false bravado when I hear it. I felt sorry for him. This is Mother's Day, not Valentine's Day. Why be so upset? This is the gist of what was said. I did not judge him, attempt to quote scripture or anything. I merely stated that I love my wife, I want her back, and I will do what it takes to have her home. I did not argue, I never raised my voice. In fact, I even chuckled a few times, which I'm certain he found confusing. But when God is in your corner, you'll take on any foe, and I was not the least bit intimidated.
I want you all to know, that when I started here I didn't believe half of this Jesus mumbo jumbo. But I knew I could not live the old way, I had to change, so I signed on and have done the best I can to live this new life.
I was not prepared for this man to call. I have often thought of what I would say if Valorie called, but this NEVER entered my mind.
I know our Heavenly Father spoke through me today. 3 years ago I would have called that man every name in the book and then been in my car on the way to SLO to kick his a**.
Instead I said, 'God Bless you.'
What hath God wrought?
David
The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself! - Shulamith
