Hope4us, Neecy and gforce - Thanks so much for your support and kind words. They are really helpful right now as I'm feeling torn about what is going on now...its always something.

Well Saturday was damage control day. He came over to "talk", which translates into try and sleep with me so things can be better. Since OW steadfastly denies her tests are back , there will be none of that and since I have more respect for myself, there will definately be none of that. We ended up spending the day together between baseball games and him trying to make things ok.

Come Saturday night though, he is at the cardroom with OW. I got a 4am phonecall from him and he said that he feels like he and OW have "unfinished" business...would that be the baby she is carrying? I had asked him on Saturday to take us out of it. If he knew of a H, a W and an OP and the H told the W all the time that he was coming home, but CHOSE to spend all of his time with the OP then what did he see as the clear answer. He actually said, well that he probably wants to end up with the OP and I said, so how can't you see it with us? He really had no reply.

Sunday I didn't hear anything from him until about 3pm and then I wasn't very nice. I ended up sending him this text:

"The day to day is too hard. You don't love me enough to commit, so I'm back to being in limbo. Love is a choice, and marriage is a committment. Do with that what you will. I won't wait around for you to finish making me wish I was never in love with you for much longer. July was for you to work with a professional & really make some decisions. By yourself you choose not to tell me but you choose to be with her. If anyone has unfinished business, I would think its us, but whatever. Call me when you know something real..."
My phone has a QWERTY keyboard and I'm not afraid to use it.

I didn't hear from him until he called to tell the kids goodnight and at the end he said he would call me in the morning (he calls every work day at 5:30 to make sure I'm up) and I told him he didn't have to and he said that he wanted to. I told him that I appreciate it and he said, "Well, I won't call you if you don't want me to." I told him under the circumstances, in the situation we are in that it would probably be better if he didn't.

We are home sick today and he called at 6:30 to talk to S12 and he called back a little while ago to talk about going to a hockey game and I just kept my answers short and about the kids and he asked, "What, you don't want to talk?" I told him that I had said everything in my texts over the weekend and that this all just hurts too much to live in everyday and that as far as I could tell the decision has been made. We can talk about the kids, but the rest is too much. He said that he didn't agree that the decision had been made but that he would stop calling me...so here we are. LRT or just dark. We have a game tomorrow night, what do I do then?

M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
~~~~~~~
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option