Refuse To Lose, Part VI

[NoDirection]

RTL,
I too was at a point where I wanted my X back. I did not want to give up and could not understand why she was fdoing the things she was doing. The more I researched and the more I read up on things, there was one theme that kep coming across. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A PERSON, YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF THAT WILL MAKE PEOPLE WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

In my case, to this day, I am to blame for all the problems in my STBX's life, eventhough I never forced her into anything. She told me in June of '07, that she was not in love with me anymore. Over the next few months, I tried everything that DB has to offer to get her back and nothing worked. I even found things that basically showed that she was having an affair. Even after all that, she was still mean, hurtful in every possible way, and eventually began to keep our S away from me. I hionoestly believe that she did everything to force me to file for divorce so she could also use that against me.

This is still fresh for you, you are still reeling from the change. Eventually, there will be a point where she will change and ask for forgiveness and come back or that day will never come and you will be forced to move on. Either way, you have to take care of yourself and your D. In the long run, whether you W comes back or not, YOU will be better off.

I know that is a tough pill to swallow but that is the truth, I have gone through firsthand. One thing that I can encourage you to check out is Divorce Care. It is a support group that deals with divorce and how to cope. they also can send you a daily email to coach, support, and/or guide you through this tough time. My marriage has bascially been over since June and I just signed up for it for the support. they may also have support groups in the area for you to join and connect. You are not the only person going through this, get the support you need. Wish you luck...