Hope4us' Struggle, part 2

[Hope4us]

Ok, Here's the note I've written for her. Comments please.

WW,

I got your note this morning.

I will take no responsibility for your selfish decision to have an affair, nor will I take responsibility for any pain the kids are feeling by my telling them the truth about your actions.

DS19 and DS15 were grateful that I finally told them the truth. The fact that DS15 has kept this crap bottled up inside him for all these months knowing what was going on but not being able to talk to me about it was killing him. He told me he questioned you a number of times last fall about who you were seeing and you lied to him. How do you think that makes him feel? Him knowing what was going on and his mother lying to him about it and not being able to say anything to me about it because if he was wrong? And for you to try to lay a guilt trip on him about growing old and lonely is just stunning.

Living this lie for another two years would not benefit him or DS19 in the least. We have always raised our kids to tell the truth, and lying to them about something that profoundly affects their lives was simply not something I could do. Which do you think is more harmful, telling them the truth, or them thinking that their parents think so little of their lives and well being that they gave up on their marriage without even trying to see if they could work it out? Because that’s all I ever asked for. End your relationship with OM and try to work it out. I told you many times that if we did that and when DS15 graduated from HS if we still weren’t where both of us wanted to be in our marriage, then we could go our separate ways. But your relationship with OM is more important to you than your marriage or your kids.

If you want to accuse me of being controlling and selfish because I have a problem with my wife sleeping with a married man, then I’m guilty as charged. And if you want to accuse me of being controlling because I have a problem with the continued lies and deceit, then I’m guilty as charged. And I can live with that.

Do you really want me to respond to us not being friends because friends don’t hurt each other the way I have hurt you the past few months? Do wife’s who have vowed to love, honor and cherish their husbands, forsaking all others until death do us part, have affairs? Do you really want me to talk about HURT?

I do love you still and hope that you will come to your senses before its too late, although I fear that it already is. DS15 is spot on. OM will hurt you. Count on it. And don’t try to lie to me anymore about you and him not being together or planning on being together. If that’s what you want, I wish you all the best, but I refuse to be lied to and disrespected anymore.

Hope4us.




What do you think?