R2C, understand that what your coach is telling you is that you have to stop imposing your wishes and wants on the situation.
If she wants to go alone you tell her you understand and you do exactly as your coach says, you hope that she misses you. Reality, the kids alone on vacation... the odds are at the very least she will miss her coparent.
As far as your other post, you have to stop having these conversations. Also, do not overwhelm her with these emails. Have you read about validating at all? The simple answer for her when she said she doesnt like that you dont tell her where you are going would have been simply, "I understand how this makes you feel". That's it, no excuses, no putting it back on her, just that you understand.
Let go of the rope dude, the tug of war is a battle that inevitably ends up with one of the two combatants covered in mud. If you drop the rope now you both get to stay clean.
