Just checking in to say hi and see how you're doing. BTW, although I DO support a little mystery now and then (it'd be different if you had had an A and were trying to rebuild trust, etc.) because I do think its gets WAS's to wonder at least a little about what they might be losing, I ALSO wanted to mention a concern, which is Involving your son in the "game". It could come off as a game, which may be a problem, or it could come off as deceit, which IS a problem.
If it's obvious to him that you're faking it, it'll be obvious to her and even if it isn't, it IS using him. Sorry to put it harshly, but it's true. You can still dress up, wear NEW cologne, (I'm one of those women who love tasteful, usually pricey, cologne on a man) and a few accessories and be vague, but positive and happy to your son. He doesn't have to know details. You can always say you're gonna catch a movie, or see some buddies, etc. Be upbeat. If your son presses you for details, he might actually be worried that you are dating and that you dating reduces any chance of reconciliation. Even if he's mad at W, he might still fear the idea of you dating. What he won't fear, and what he will embrace, is you being happy and upbeat and busy. Let your wife wonder what it's all about. Not your son. Make sense?
All WAS issues aside, regarding depression in general. I saw it in my father. It may have been work related but that's a bit irrelevant to a kid, especially since he kept the same job for 34 years. In his retirement he seemed happier. Then he died. So, what I'm saying is that I felt my father sort of sent a message that life was to be endured, and though he taught me many good important things (honesty, getting an education, etc.) I really worked hard to lose his subtle message that life might not be all that fun. That happiness was NOT in our control. We had to take what we got and shut up about it, or like him, drink too much, or whatever.
So, I'm saying I went to therapy long before any M problems or H issues arose. I attended workshops for personal growth (a few were excellent and life changing and spiritual, etc. and some were wacky and a waste of money) and retreats.
Somehow I got it through my head and heart that God loves me, he wants me to be happy and that I deserve to be happy and that I CAN be happy. It's a choice. Unlike selfish WAS's I choose to keep commitments I make and frankly, that makes me happy. The best workshop I went to said "Broken agreements make messy lives" and boy is that the truth.
I'm rambling now. Just keep up the good work and keep posting. (( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
