THERE HAS BEEN A LOT GOING ON IN MY SITCH. EX HAS BEEN TRYING VERY HARD AGAIN TO SUCK ME INTO HIS DRAMA. I WILL DO MY BEST TO MAKE HIM UNSUCCESSFUL.
I PLANNED A TRIP FOR MY CHILDREN TO DISNEY IN OCTOBER. MY DAUGHTER TOLD HIM THIS A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. HE JUST PLANNED A TRIP TO DISNEY WITH MY KIDS FOR AUGUST....
HE HAS BEEN COMPLAINING TO MY DAUGHTER NON-STOP THAT I WON'T COMMUNICATE WITH HIM REGARDING ANYTHING. THIS IS NOT TRUE. I RESPOND TO MOST OF HIS EMAILS HOWEVER I HAVE TOLD HIM TO NOT COME OVER UNEXPECTANTLY OR CALL ME.
HE GAVE MY CHILDREN OW'S PHONE NUMBER AND HAS BEEN ENCOURAGING THEM TO CALL HER AND TEXT HER WHENEVER THEY WANT.
HE HAS TOLD MY CHILDREN THAT OUR MARRIAGE WOULD NEVER HAVE MADE IT ANYWAY DESPITE HIS AFFAIR.
HE HAS TOLD MY CHILDREN THAT I COULD AT LEAST COMMUNICATE WITH HIM AND LET HIM COME AND GO IN OUR HOUSE SINCE HE GIVES ME A BUNCH OF MONEY EVERY MONTH.
HE TOLD MY CHILDREN THEY ARE LUCKY THIS HAS HAPPENED TO THEM BECAUSE NOW THEY CAN SEE WHAT A REALLY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP LOOKS LIKE WHEN HIM AND OW ARE TOGETHER.
MY PLAN IS TO CONTINUE TO BE FRIENDLY LOVING BUT TO STILL KEEP SOME BOUNDARIES. I HAVE NOT ACKNOWLEDGED ANY OF THE ABOVE. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT NOT TO. WHY DO THEY TRY TO SUCK US IN SO MUCH? IS IT DONE ON PURPOSE? DO THEY TRY TO HURT US?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I think the not responding is a good idea. It would be terribly difficult for me to respond in a decent way to him right now. You do answer most of his emails and it is crazy for him to think that he should still be able to come and go as he pleases in your home.
The kids will still have a great time with you in Disney. He's doing it to spite you for some reason.
T I dont know but I sense he probably wants access to you and his old life even if it is one foot in and one out maybe he is trying to talk himself into beliveing his new R is better ..even if it is for the moment more exciting than his 20 year M, that will too fade and quickly and soon they are left with themselves again It could be a desperate plea for help hoping his new sitch is better b/c what would happen if it was worse or same and his bordom was growing and now you are gone touch spot to be in..maybe worse than tough disasterous just my thoughts peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Your H sounds so much like mine....except mine doesn't complain to the kids (as far as I know) ...but he does shove ow into their lives, and yes, I'm sure it's to show them how happy and healthy they are together and what a wonderful life they now have with him and ow...YUK !
I think you are wise not to react or engage !
I too have distanced and have set some boundaries.
I am no longer afraid of him getting mad at me.
I am no longer afraid of divorce either.
I'm just enjoying life as it comes now, without wondering what stupid things he may be up to !
Take care ! You're so strong ! I'm so proud of you and I'm sure the kids will love Disney with you !!! You can do all the stuff they 'missed' with H !!!!
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
You know I am just oh jeez' I could just scream!! you are right on -and he is off base!! My h is doing the OW is the best thing since sliced bread thing too. I am so - oh i don't know.
Trusting - i am sorry. i really am. I have no words as right now my heart is breakign -- i wish i was functional and could be of help to people. i wish i wasn't who i am - i wish my life was not what it is...
i am so sorry for you. I HATE ALL of this!! I really really do...
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Same here Cagz. This point in my life really sucks. I know God will help us though. There will be light at the end of this tunnel.
Ex at least has stopped asking for things in the house... I think. All the things he put on a list he has now forgot about.
I like it better when he just leaves me alone.
I did not book the Disney trip yet. I am thinking I will then change my destination, somewhere exotic, maybe Hawaii. I think my ex is just full of hot air. He had told the kids this winter he was taking them on 3 trips, none ever happened. If he does take my kids to Disney with the OW that would be a total of 6 tickets plus he said he was going to hire a nanny to watch the baby, so a total of 7. That would be a small fortune to Disney. He is flat ass broke... I have no clue how that would be possible. Why are they so delusional????
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to bare. As with you and everyone else on this board...I am sure our pain is felt by many.
OW and our h's. So wierd how they start making a "new life" as though this one is obsolete. With my H - I asked him yesterday -- ok so you are living with her - yes - ok then what am i to tell d11 when she wants to have sex some day - what are you showing her about life and relationships? I said the things you have set in motion I will have to deal with later in her life.....
You are doing so awesome - and I am so proud of you. I took today off from work--giong to use it to bounce back and get my head out of the sand. I am tired - as I know you are too.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
