Chevelle, Did you ever figure out if it was a mental issue that things just fell apart or was it a process that you just didn't realize. In my case, I knew we were having issues, but I also just figured that we both respected the sacrament of marriage.
I knew about her issues before we got together. I just assumed they were behind her for the most part since she and I were so happy together. She hated the idea of infidelity and anyone who was pertaking in it. Now, she did it herself..and hates herself for it to this day...she claims that was the X factor in our impending S and D.
The issues have now repeated themselves with her. I knew she used sex to get guys as a teenager, but thought she matured.
Wrong.
Now, she has found an OM that gives it as much as she wants. So, to me knowing her better than him, I have determined that this R was built on the premise of....If I get sex all the time, OM makes me feel wanted..
Well, I dont care who you are, its pretty hard to keep the pace you have early on in an LTR later on down the road when you commit each other...
So then, the "real" yous come out, and you see each other for who they are, and sometimes the WAS sees that the greener grass is really brown. No saying it happens all the time...but more often than u think. Also, they may not say it, but deep down they will, at many points, miss what they had..especially when problems come up.
One thing I remember...Yes, I played my part, and yes, I became a million-times-over better man than I was. But when they see you as the cause of their misery, they won't change enough to remedy any problems in their Rs. So, they become miserable after a while. I have seen that too many times on this board and in the field to think differently.
