I am going to start doing the same with my W...I thought we were on the road back, apparently it was only me that was thinking that!
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Whoo hoo. I got to hold my wife's hand today. Okay, it wasn't because she wanted to or anything. We sat beside each other in church today and during prayer and benediction, everyone holds hands. But just to have her touch again. Loved it.
She asked about the concert last night. I told her i had a wonderful time. I tried to leave it at that, but she kept asking questions about it. So, I gave her the details and was real upbeat about it. She missed a good time.
On the weekends I have the kids, we eat at W mother's house because the kids eat there every Sunday. I was sitting at the table by myself and W came and sat across from me and started a conversation. Really caught me off guard. Then she asked some more about the concert. Then since she didn't have her car, she asked me to take her to work. I did. We didn't talk in the car for the 15-20 minutes it took to get there. She looked tired and had her eyes closed, so i just left it alone. Then when she got out the car, she said bye to the kids and told me thank you. I said no problem. Then as we were pulling off, she just stared at the car.
This is an up moment for me. i know I am going to come back down, but right now, I FEEL GOOD.
Well, what a difference a week makes. Saturday, my W asked me to meet her a pizza place with her and the kids. I met them and kept everything light. I played with the kids and let the W talk about whatever she wanted to talk about. It was mainly about the kids and stuff, but I had a good attitude. We didn't talk about us, which was good because I wasn't prepared for that. she then told the kids, who were acting up, that she is glad she invited me because she knew they were going to bad. When we left, I told her thank you for inviting me and she said no problem. Not great, but not bad either. Take it for what it's worth right? Look for the little things.
Then at church yesterday, when she came in, her mother was sitting beside me, when her mother was going to move over and let her sit beside me, she shook her head no and sat on the other side of her mother. I had allowed myself to have expectations and I got upset. I didn't show it, but I was hurting again.
So, what have i learned. No matter what, take it all in stride. Do not let what she does bother me. I have to build my wall back up again and not let her tear it down. Maybe next time she asks me to do something, politely decline. I may risk losing a chance of her wanting to talk about something, but if she does, there will be other chances.
