Matilda, Thanks for your concern. It's helpful to hear other's reactions from a different vantage point. Your comments and observations are helpful.
The skill I'm needing to improve on is now that I have the GAL aspect of my life in place, is to be able to maintain friendliness towards my W, no matter what she does, and less turbulence in my own mind. Sylvia Boorstein, in her book, Happiness is an Inside Job, talks about Steadfast Benevolence as the balm for mental affliction.
I hope my friendliness will help her heal her own afflictions, but there are no conditions attached. She will follow her own path to self-destruction or healing. This is beyond my control.
She did mention to me recently that she would like to partner with someone to quit smoking. I asked her if I could search for someone for her. She said yes.
Her anxiety has been high around this issue. She is mindful that she may have only so much time left, before she becomes ill, unless she quits.
My W is trying to communicate what's important to her. I need to listen and try to meet her needs in a reasonable manner. I think of her as a friend with potential.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
