Please help me! Wife wants out! (5)

[steve477]

Link to previous part. part 4

Ok so my Wife no longer wants out. I havent changed the subject title because I like consistancy! lol

Good weekend. Nice day out yesterday. Nice day today. W didnt go to the gym in the end, said she was too tired, although we had breakfast in bed (i joined her in her bed), and did some `Sunday morning jobs` changed the beddings washed the clothes etc.. Then I went to the gym and she went back to bed.
Take it as a good sign that the `newness` is wearing off with OM, she didnt feel the need to meet him there.

On the way back from the gym, my Dad called me. Going on about something or other, but sounding p`ed off at me as seems to be usual at the moment. So I thought about this for a while, and thoughts also turned to my life, so by the time I got home I was a bit `grumpy`! W could pick up on this and we eventually talked about it. She is definately on my side with this. We discussed my family quite a bit. I told her a few of the things I have told you guys, was happier in Japan, was a mistake to come to UK etc... She recognisies we have had a tough time of it here. She is willing to move away from here with me. Whereas I would drop everything and move, she is more concerned about practicalities (probably rightly so.) If I change my job now, with the baby on the way I wont be able to help out as much. Enough to be getting on with, with the baby and all, without thinking about job changes and house moves (possible country moves). She has asked me to try to stay in my job for another 12 months. I have told her that I wouldnt be happy with her going back to her job after the maternity leave. She knows, but is worried about money (her salary is nice there). She is willing to move somewhere but not too far, say 30 mins away, for now. She is a little more open to the possiblity of moving back to Japan someday it seems.

She says she cant leave me now as we have told everyone about the baby. SO she has no choice.. I rolled my eyes at this. She quickly said that she didnt mean that to sound as negative as it came out. Its not that she doesnt want to be in the M. She is trying on the M in her own way. Cant remember exactly, but something along the lines of wanting to try and make it work before giving up on it if we have to. I dont like the way she put it, but at least it is a positive statement.

We talked about how both of us are `people pleasers` to the extent of not pleasing ourselves. She can see the positive changes in me. Thinks I am doing well.
OM did surface a little in this conversation, but not as a point, just in passing and not directly mentioned. The `problem` at work.

When we got home I walked into her room as she was changing. I caught a peek, but backed out quickly (not because I wanted to but I know she would want me too). She seemed a little miffed that I had walked in. I was a bit miffed that she was miffed. Said that is it really a problem for a husband to see his wife topless. She supposes not. We cooked together, and flirted a bit, I asked if in her view of the future did she see us ever kissing again, or sharing a bed, she teasingly said maybe...

Then she was crying a bit (i think I pushed the flirting a bit too much). She said she was sorry. (dont know what for). I said I was sorry too, I dont want her to think I am becoming a sex mad monster.

So todays lesson is to back away from my hopes of more intimate contact. It will happen in time I guess.

Any ideas as to her thoughts on not kissing me? Is she not atteacted to me? Is she not kissing me because of OM? Is she just teasing me? Is she thinking about it but waiting for the right moment? A bit of everything or nothing of the above?

I kiss her on the cheek, and she seems to have no problem with my patting her backside. And we hug. All mainly initaited by me.

It is my birthday in 4 weeks, I am kind of hoping for a kiss then. We will be away I hope, visiting my grandparents. We will have to share a bed on that trip too. So I am kinda hoping for some kind of breakthrough in the deadlock then.

The way I see it (mans ways of thinking), there are just 2 more `problems` to `fix`. The intimate part of our relationship (emotionally and phyisically), and the OM. She is working on the M she says, but seems she is not yet ready to end contact with him.

All stepping in the right direction I guess.

Cheers

Steve

PS I hope we can work this all out before my thread gets into double figures!