A, Well, your h is doing the "put the guilt on mom" deal w/your daughter. Notice how he said that you were mad at him and hated him? Well...that isn't the most adult conversation to have w/your child. He's fishing and hoped that your daughter would tell him where you are at. He should be ashamed of himself for putting your child in the middle of his mess. But, like a teenager, he runs to someone else to see how "mom" feels about things. Well..he made this mess, now he really does need to clean it up. Drama king doesn't describe him at all. He's over the top when it comes to "me, me, me".
If you are not ready to sign the real estate papers, then don't. It's time he became a man and broached the subject w/you. Do not even mention those papers. Let's see how long it takes him to raise the issue.
Oh, he'll get back to those late night calls again very soon. Right now, he's laying low because he thinks you are angry w/him about the papers. If he starts to see you letting your guard down a bit, those calls when start up once again. If you go back and visit your old threads, you'll see the pattern.
Unfortunately, you can't do a thing about helping him face his issues. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself and your children. Your h has a lot going on in his head and until he can focus on those issues, face them head on, accept them for what they are and come to an understanding that they are things that were and are out of his control, he's going to continue to spiral out of control. It's very sad when you think about everything he's lost out on in the last couple of years. The kids need their father, but he's not in the best of shape to be one and right now, at their ages, they need him home and rational. You've done a great job of trying to hold it together, but it's going to take a long time, if ever, for him to wake up from this. That's why it is very important to keep moving forward and prepare yourself for the fact that he might not return. I'm not saying he won't, but I'm also not say he will. It's better to prepare yourself for the worse and hope for the best.
Dimmer is definitely better for you. I do hope and pray he'll grow up, want to return home, and be the best father, husband and friend that he can be to all of you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
