I really am trying to detach. I just feel so hopeless about the situation (and I used to be such a strong, proud, productive guy). Not to diminish others very real pain but no contact at all is so different from many of these cases. I envy those that at least have some ongoing relationship even if it is negative. That still offers hope. She cut off our relationship completely, nothing at all in over 4 months...not a word from her. She wants nothing to do with me. Her family hates me and acts as if the blame rests solely on me. She has threatened legal action if I call any of her friends. Her behavior is just so different from the person I knew (similar to yours Bill). I am just still so baffled by it. She is behaving as if I was an abuser. I admit that some things I said to her in the course of the marriage were not always nice. I also was selfish in my own bedroom requests that frustrated her. I admit that that wasnt healthy and regret it so much. But I have to thing that the issue must have been so much bigger. She was the one who was drunk and became violent at the end. She was the one who gave the who "ILYBNILWYA" speech. Why would she not talk at all after the fight?? We shared so much, hung out everyday for the past 3 years and knew each other for almost 5. I was there for her. My family was always there for her. Instead she runs to her extended family that has hurt her repeatedly and friends that hated our marriage since the beginning while abandoning those who have supported us for a while. I just have to think that this isn't normal. Like I've said before, I know I have done some bad things in our marriage that hurt her. But I have to think that normal people don't abondon their husband without talking to them at all, they don't post online looking for lesbian relationships, they don't suddenly gain a host of new friends that they didnt want their husband to know about. Right?
I just really ask for your prayers. I'm not trying to sound overemotional. Its just she really broke my heart. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I don't want anyone else. She was my first love. I miss the her I knew and wish she realized that. Part of my pain too is that how could I be deceived for so long? Was I deceived or did something happen to her? Was I really in love with someone who wasn't in love with me?
Regarding detaching, how did you do it? I feel I can at times but then I think about all I am giving up. Its like as if I have to lie to myself that things are great without her when they really aren't. In fact, my life is not nearly as fun, fulfilling and enjoyable without her...even on a bad day.
Finally, are there any DBing things I can do with no contact besides improving myself as I have done? Has anyone had a similar situation before that got better?
