#3 Did I find DB too late? Maybe not...

[houndfan]

So... progress is measured in inches not feet. I would say again that this is all good stuff. In reference to Retro, when we were S I contacted the local Retro folks and asked if I could pay the deposit to hold the spot in the event that W changed her mind about going (she was and still is against the weekend due to the religious connection).
The folks here in FL were great allowing me to submit deposit without commitment from W. In the end we did not go and I did not pursue the deposit back. The way I see it, a program so dedicated to saving marriage can use my money for effective means. You may want to ask for the same from Retro, then you can cross the bridge when you get there.
A side note on Retro, have a friend here whom went through the same process as the rest of us. She "sold" H on using retro as an opportunity to improve communication for the D. Sneaky approach, he agreed and they went. She shared that the first day was a disaster, but slowly they grew closer through the weekend. They are still S, but both admit that they will be back together soon. They both want to work the follow-up at Retro to be as strong as possible when they fully R. I think it is a sound approach and one that may work for you. It is not threatening to H and seems to work for them.

W and I are really going through a rough patch right now. I am involved in a project that has me working 100 hours a week literally and we have really pounded heads on household chores, boys etc. Difference this time, she has not been one bit critical so I know that I need not put my guard up. I understand her frusteration and feelings. If this happened a year ago it would be a nightmare for both of us with more blame storming than brain storming! Our marriage is so much stronger now than ever.

This morning before I left for work, I was talking to my uncle sharing with him my feelings about our M. I did not realize that W was awake and listening in from the other room.... anyhow, I made the comment about how lucky I am to have gotten past the pain and seperation. Even though things are tough for us right now, I am so much happier with my life and marriage. She came in and gave me the best kiss on the cheek and then went abou getting ready for her day. It's moments like that which tell me that we have made strides.

I am proud of you!