I can't figure out your wife's pattern--sleep elsewhere and then immediately want you to reach out to her. It sounds like her behavior makes you feel more distant (is that a correct assessment, CL?), and that is the time she wants to connect with you. Very confusing! If it was me I would want to ask, "Where have you been??? Don't you know your behavior hurts me so?!"
Then this statement from above surprised me: She wants me to be nice to her, and treat her like a boyfriend would--treat her to dinner, tell her she looks nice, appreciate her for her thoughtfullness. My first reaction: WHAT THOUGHTFULNESS? Buying the ipod you didn't want? Complaining that you don't do enough around the house?
It sounds like the dancing is still the major way you connect, but it's also a life line for you. I admire you for your ability to keep taking care of yourself!!!
