(((L))) I don't have much advice, but I can feel how much pain you are in. I hope you were able to get some sleep.
I have not read any of you threads but this one, so I am not sure of your whole story, but personally I think you should continue to act "as if" and DB your butt off. Nothing has really changed since you read the emails, except for that now you know what they have said to each other.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011