Well, Telling DS19 went about as well as I could have hoped for. Of course he's pissed at his mom. And he's so smart. I never once bashed her and repeated to him quite a few times that she's not a bad person, but she got wrapped up in something and before she knew it, it had got out of control and now she's an alien (didn't use that word, but that's the idea). And you know what he said? "Mom is going to grill me and try to get me to say that you were bashing her and I'm going to tell her that you never once said anything about her that was disrespectful, but you did tell me the truth".
I went into most of the details with him. He's an adult and I felt like he had a right to know. I told him that the most important thing for him was to do good in school and that no matter what happens, I WILL NOT DESERT HIM OR HIS BROTHER. I told him what a POS his mom is hooked up with. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but IMHO, that's the only way I can make sure that this loser isn't integrated into my kids lives if we do separate/divorce.
He asked me if I would spend the night with him so of course I did. We hung out, talked and talked about integrity, the truth, what marriage means, etc. We watched the NCAA's. Went and got pizza at 9:00 at night, talked to some of his friends (DS won the NCAA pool that he and some friends had going so we had to go collect his money). I felt like a real college student (I went to community college so I lived at home during my college years).
DS19 told me that he and DS15 had talked back in Nov and DS15 told him about WW sleeping on the couch and taking her wedding rings off etc. DS15 then told DS19 that if we separated/divorced he would want to live with me because he thinks I'd do a better job raising him! They both love their mother (as it should be) but I think they realize WW tries to be more of their friend than their parent. Man that made me feel good. Guess WW's little plan isn't going to work out the way she thinks it will huh?
Well, that's about it. I'm sitting here typing while DS sleeps. He's holding up remarkably well considering the circumstances. I talked to him about his college having counseling services and if he ever feels like he needs someone to talk to he can call me anytime or he can talk to the counselors here. I told him to stay busy, don't spend any more time alone than he has to, etc. I'm sure it'll be a real tear fest when I have to leave this morning.
Why can't these people see how their actions affect the people they claim to love the most?
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
