who feels insecure?

[stella_k]

It's a great thread, Breton, thank you for starting it.

I hope you don't mind a dyslexic chiming in !

Tpaschal, I understand you so well. I also cannot flirt to save my life. My mother dear (special and very painful issue) took care of me feeling insecure most of my life. I am 5'8", 150 Lbs, (I was 130 in high school), with wavy bushy hair I cannot tame (according to my mother a mop)and I'm anything but invisible. I was never flattered by attention I was getting, just felt like hiding and blending into the walls. In my early 20s I was invited to try myself in modeling. After a few sessions they told me I will never learn how to carry myself (and a bit too curvy :)). After dropping the Bomb my H has told me that I dress to look shapeless and mannish (true, I'm afraid) and never ACT as a beautiful woman.

Now the OW is 45 as well and is opposite of me. She has tons of self confidence, not intelligent but shrewd (and totally cynical), small, attractive in a rather conventional way and takes great care of herself. HEr hair looks great (straight and shiny) and her nails are perfect.

I found myself next to her last year (not knowing yet she is the OW, what a fool I must have looked!)at some social event and I felt like statue of Liberty with its pedestal lost. Too large and too awkward and not belonging.


I'm trying to change the way I present myself - a part of my 180 - and my wardrobe too. But I'm still not very confident.