Am I a glutton for punishment...the answer is undoubtedly, YES...
I just spent the last hour poring through my H's email account, reading every available email between H and OW, a group of which go back to last May...
I guess in some ways it's like looking at an accident...gruesome, but compelling.
I am physically shaking right now, largely from being very tired, and also just from the sheer overwhelming feeling that my life is going to be changing very dramatically sometime soon...
Looks pretty clear to me that H has set himself some kind of a timeline to preparing to leave this house. H and OW went through more drama for about a week after Easter, but H had an epiphany last weekend about his behavior, and they are madly in love again.
I will now not look at his email again...I now know where things stand, and I don't want to relive the incredible humiliation that i feel inside over and over...
Now, I have to make some decisions...I really need some advice about the following:
1) Do I continue to act 'as if' with H (not that we have a good M, but just that i'm not aware of what's transpiring...)
and for now, i'm going to just leave it at #1. My brain hurts right now, and I'm going to try to go to sleep...
