Insist on receipts. Tell her your lawyer needs them.
Ignore her threats, make a paper file of all her correspondence (especially the threatening, nasty stuff) and keep it in a safe place. Do not react to anything she says in spite of how angry you are. The more business-like and cordial you come across in anything written, the better you will look in court. If you can stay reasonable and logical when she's attacking and emotional, you will look better. Ask friends, other parents who observe you, etc.... to write "character letters" describing what type of parent you are, and keep them safe as well.
Continue to be the best parent possible. Keep notes, dates, anything you have noticed that she has been unreasonable, or even potentially harmful as a parent. But be smarter (than her), don't let her know what she's doing that could have a negative impact on the kids or custody. Just document... and be nice.... sickeningly nice so she never suspects a thing....
Dr. Love, Most people don't appreciate what they have. Oftentimes, it's only when you lose something that it becomes dear.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
