Living one day at a time

[Dr LOve]

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Jurnaling,

Ok I had a bad night. I think I have not sank so low in a long time. I even wrote a good bye letter to my freinds here. (well I would have if I had theie E-mail)
I have been having alot of physical problems and the stress of "waiting" I think got to me.
Yesterday W recived some books she ordered to study for a possible job. Ok one of my pet peives that we will need to talk about if we stay together is this "she can order anything she wants and I need to ask issue... but that is down the road... Also Yesterday W Brought home the school Cookie order that my son had. I did not know anything about it. W did not order any of the cookies that I like. she said "well it has been sitting on the counter for a month" ya along with all of the other crap that is there, How was I supposed to know... I think she could have said "I am ordering some cookies do you want to look at the list?" AGIAN ordering things with out telling me.... Ok but this morning when she went shopping she did buy some penut butter cookies that I would have ordered. they are on the counter but she has not said anything so They are still there. They will stay there until she says something...
So today I was feeling better so I did some work around the house. Re built a ramp on the side. ( It shoud be cemented but with lack of money and not knowing how long I will be here I just used some redwood I had.)

THEN son comes and tells me he almost had our dog in the tree house.. WHAT??? I told him NO.. don't get her up there.. she already has a bad hip is she fell we would not be able to take care of her. he said ok.... THEN I go in the back yard had here is the dog half way up the ladder to the tree house... I said SON WHAT DID I TELL YOU???? he said "I thought you just did not want her in the treee house, I thought the ladder would be Ok.."
GRRRRRRRRRRRR. I told him if she got hurt bad agian we would have to put her to sleep. I don't want to do that and I am sure you don'e either... Please don't do it agian.... son "ok"...
Ok now that I have the subject of son here.... Sara you would be proud of me.. Son has left his T.V on several times and I have just turned it off.AND.. Son and his friend have been up in the tree house singing andyellingat the top of their voices and I HAVE SAID NOTHING.. this is a total 180 for me. Ya I know they are just having a good time but I always used to concider the neighors and how much noise the boys were making. Now I will just wait until the neighors say someting then I will worry about it. ( I am griting my teeth thought) I ALSO make sure I turn MY T.V off even If I am just going to the bathroom. Ya I know a little over kill but since W brought it up......
W has been frustrated with "her" computer.... It became "hers" when she got the guilt trip about a year ago and talked me into buying this lap top.. I can still use "her" computer if I wanted to but I feel like I am going into someone else house when I do. Anyway she has been having problems with it.AGIAN Ya know.. I have been having health issues I think is related to the stress I am under but...... W has been having other problems...Problems that may be Karma related... I know I am sounding silly but...Sometimes things just do go right for her.
I am sorry if I worried anyone that I e-mailed earlyer today.. I just have myself to talk to and sometimes I go crazy... Nephew has gone off of the deep end. I think he is taking this hard. He has been doing some heavy drinking and staying out late just to "Forget" He never called me last night.. I did drive by the bar we go to and he was not there so I drove by his "for sale" house and his truck was out front. I may try to go see him tomarrow when he is sober.. IF I HAVE TIME. I am going to work in the morning (4:00am) and when I get off I was going to swing by and pick up some sandwiches and pick up son and go Kite flying.. (if we have wind like today). My uncle still wants me to drive the tractor for him but I want to wait until after I go see the chiropractor on monday.
WHat a day....I was so down last night....and now I feel ok in fact pretty good...Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;

Dr LOve