Matilda and Aud, The sleeping elsewhere seems to be picking-up again (3X this week), yet she wants to stay connected. My IC wants me to have a R talk with my W, but I'm not so sure what it would accomplish. I think she's communicating to me already what's important to her.
She wants Saturdays free from any responsibilities. She wants me to be nice to her, and treat her like a boyfriend would--treat her to dinner, tell her she looks nice, appreciate her for her thoughtfullness.
The general wisdom on this forum, is to raise your standards for yourself, and have realistic expectations of the M.
I've started reading, Happiness is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life, by Sylvia Boorstein. She quotes that "Steadfast benevolence, sustained by the wisdom that anything other than benevolence is painful, protects the mind from all afflictions." I will continue the daily work of cultivating happiness in my life, which includes benevolence towards my W.
I'm enjoying the latin dance class, that I'm taking with my W. This includes samba, rumba, and cha cha. It was my W's idea to take the class, so I'm grateful to her for her influence. I'm enjoying branching-out from salsa.
I think I will take a break from salsa classes, and put my energy into developing these three dances. I would like to get to a point where I can can be more versatile, and start attending ballroom dances, with or without my W.
I've decided to join the local ballroom dance chapter, to broaden my dance network and awareness of local events. I consider the dancing to be my social insurance. Either my W will benefit from my skills, or I will have a social safety net to fall on in case the M dissolves someday.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
