Wow, Cory...I feel priveledged to know the real you. Thank you!
Something may change. I am just going to sit back and watch...let him do the work and make the changes for now. Who knows what the future holds.
I still have this trust issue now though...if he was able to lie to me for months even while still with me then how could I ever be sure he wouldn't do it again? I guess I won't be able to ever be sure but would have to decide if my heart could handle it again.
I will keep posting as things progress between he and I.
Thank you all, ALL of you, for reading and posting. I never thought the man I gave my heart and soul to for 19 years could do this...and yes I know I played a small part in it but he is the one that chose to have the affair...he is the one that chose to leave...he is the one that chose to move onto woman #2 rather than try to come home...maybe he didn't come home because Queen B was visiting.
FG- you can call me a retarded MILF or anything else...words don't hurt me...actions do.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
Thanks for the show of support. Maybe it isn't MLC at all but some sort of sowing of our oats that we never did when we were younger that we MUST do now in order to move forward with each other...who knows?!?!?!
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
I totally agree. I think something is going to change. Why haven't you gotten the papers yet? That seems like he is stalling. I have a feeling that your sitch is going to change sooner or later and you better get ready for it.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Well H just left after being here most of the afternoon. I think he is guarded now that he has told me of his affairs.
He was very distant today and it just seemed like he was concerned I might let Queen B on the lose any moment but I hugged him and told him we were OK and reminded him that what is done is done and I will always be his friend and we will do this together for our kids sakes. Doing all that reassuring and good wife stuff we are to be doing.
I still at this moment don't think I could take him back due to the major trust issue since he has been lieing to me for nearly 8 months now even though he only left 4 months ago.
I also believe he is confused that I am in such a happy place and that it appears as though my life is going so much better than his new life that was SUPPOSED to be this awesome new life he always wanted. I think he is rethinking his actions now and realizing what has happened as it really sinks in now.
I wish him all the best and do love him on some level but am myself confused about that level.
More to come over the week I am sure. Oh can't remember if I said this already or not but he told me yesterday that he has to reassure this new woman that he will not leave her to come back to me. I am thinking maybe she is feeling some insecurities in their relationship given who he is and what he does still for me and the kids. Hmmmmm...I hate to say it but I am almost enjoying watching this unfold and watching him flounder through the waters of the sess pool he has gotten himself into. I don't want him to drown but he must make his own way back to shore.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
H and I had sex this afternoon. And guess what...neither of us felt anything for the other. That is what I needed. I am in such a good place right now. Weird to say the least but I now know that there was nothing there. I don't know that there ever will be again. He also said he now felt guilty because he was cheating on the new girlfriend that he is really into. Well, FG...I felt the same guilt...I know I said no dating but I did start dating someone about 3 weeks ago. Some of us students are just not Jedi material Master Yoda.
I am happy with life right now and in a very good emotional place and will survive this. I can't help but feel H and I both needed this today in order to test the waters and see what was there. Who knows maybe in 6 months or a year things will be different but today was interesting to say the least.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
All I am gonna say.. and you are gonna disagree.... You are in for one hel* of a roller coaster ride.
I just got to say.. Why would a man who is done or in the midst of a MLC sleep with a woman who was done with him? And why would a woman who was done sleep with a man who is cheating on her?
I'll give you 2 guesses where I will be standing.
Some Jedi's just can't get away from the lure of the Dark Side.
I like you Heather I really, really do.
You are interesting to say the least.
You know where I is. Good hearing from you.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Thought I'd pop in since I actually understood what FG is saying & that's not always the case.
"H and I had sex this afternoon. And guess what...neither of us felt anything for the other. That is what I needed. I am in such a good place right now."
In the year that I've been on this site, I've posted almost the same thought, only to find that it's a different story soon after.
When my H was hugging me a few minutes ago after I received some upsetting news, I felt "nothing". I now know that doesn't mean anything really & will likely change soon, being part of the "rollercoaster" he refers to.
It doesn't appear to be over from where I stand either.
OK FG...maybe we did just do this to feel each other out and see where we really stand and what feelings if any we had for the other presently?
Now where might you be standing...one of 2 places and I can't guess either. My mind isn't as sharp as it used to be obviously look at what I am doing...lol.
You are right I am like Darth Vadar, the dark Jedi Knight...I will be pulling the mask off soon right?
I am interesting to say the least...shoot an interesting soap opera maybe if there is such a thing. I am glad you like me...that way when you verbally beat me up I know it is just tough love. HEEHEE!!!!!
I knew admitting I was dating someone wouldn't surprise you but I did expect a lecture about it. Come on Cory you are getting soft on me again. Icky remember!
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07