Yea, the acting 'as if' has been pretty hard today... we are planning on a trip to Europe right after S18 graduates in end of May... talking about some things about it this pm was really hard. My assumption is that we will go on this...and then H will probably drop the 'i'm leaving' bomb.
When I wondered about 'just waiting', I guess what I really was meaning was do I just keep waiting for him to make this decision? I know that I don't want to split up our family; i've been doing this for a long time...I've known about my H's A for quite sjme time and have chosen to not confront him on it. I had hoped that it would ultimately die out.
But today's revelations make it pretty clear that it's much more likely that he's going...I just feel so utterly defeated.
I will continue to do what I can for me and our sons...in truth, my H is a great dad, albeit on his terms in large part. IT's just that I feel like this is really coming to the end...
Of course, H and I still had a brief convo this afternoon about S18s financial aid issues..and H's comments were geard toward "can we do this?" (meaning pay for the more expensive choices...) THere is no way to do this if we split, at least not any $$ from me other than what we've already saved...
I just feel SOOOO sad right now...
I'm not a praying woman, but I am asking God for help tonight to give me strength to make it through whatever is to come...
